this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
