so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
