You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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