if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
