And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
