that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
