I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
