Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
