if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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