Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
