Will you blow on my dice?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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