For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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