Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
