i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
