Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
