he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
