I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
