just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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