but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
