Swine flu is the new snow day.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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