office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
