Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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