it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
