That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
