I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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