It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
