Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
