the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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