it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
