I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
