I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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