If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
