You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize