Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
