Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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