you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We talked him into tasing himself.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
