the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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