actually, I'm a sock model
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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