Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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