you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
