she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
