I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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