I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
