youre lurking in front of me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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