absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
