You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
