My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
