First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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