she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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