Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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