i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
