imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
