just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
