I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
