wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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