too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I touched a dick in church today
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
