So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
